"Don't attack her with the pony."

Not much else to explain, right? If you have kids, have been around kids, know any kids, or were a kid yourself, then you know exactly what was going on here! Oh, even though I think I've become almost immune to the weirdness that can come out of a parent's mouth, I still crack up whenever I take a second to reflect on what was just said. I try and put myself in my kid-less brother's shoes and picture what he would think/hear/interpret from this stuff...and then I just laugh. Ah, the freedom of saying the most absurd things while keeping a straight face is truly enjoyed best while in the company of others!

"Mommy, was I wet when I came out of your tummy?"

(pause) (deep breath) Mmm hmm. (pause) Why? Oh, I was just wondering. Okay. One of the stranger questions I have had the pleasure of answering as a mommy. I wasn't quite sure where it was going, how far it was going to go, nor how I was going to continue/end it. But it somehow ended right there. I guess that's all my little man really needed to know. It's been a while since I've written, although I have been keeping notes. I'm not sure where the desire went but I'm looking forward to getting it back. Thanks, little man, for reminding me just how funny...strange...random... conversations can be. Happy New Year.

"I'll eat that one...it has mommy juice in it."

Mommy juice. Why we started using that particular term, I'm not so sure, but the kids know not to touch it. I wonder what they think it is, because it takes on different forms...but anyway, there we were, the kids and I, looking through the bag of candy my neighbor had just brought over. He went to Italy last month with his wife and thoughtfully made us a bag of Italian candies. Although I don't think he looked too closely at what he put in it because if he had seen the 'mommy juice' filled chocolate, it would NOT have made it in that bag. Just sayin'. Now I'm not a huge fan of chocolate, so that would explain the look of surprise when I lunged toward the mound my son was unwrapping. It had "Disaronno" fancily typed onto the shiny golden (silver?) wrapping and was decoratively shaped and quite aesthetically pleasing. My sweet kids kind of look at me funny, their eyes questioning my rather uncharacteristic behavior. But once I explained (see above) they seemed a little less confused, albeit a bit more curious. They watched me closely as I took a bite (I wonder what they thought was going to happen), then leaned in to see just what was inside this delicious-looking confection that would cause their normally ambivalent-to-sweets mother to take such an interest in that particular item. I carefully bit the top off so as not to disturb the liquid contents inside. There was actually an audible gasp from my little audience. My oldest inquired first, "What is that stuff?" Mommy juice, I replied. "Can we try some?" asked my youngest. Nope. I then consumed the surprise in one gulp, leaving only the shell of its existence. The kids quickly peered inside, sniffing and looking for traces, but they found nothing. "Can we eat the rest of it?" my darling daughter inquired. Nope. I popped the remaining chocolate covering into my mouth and sat back in, for some strange and inexplicable reason, complete satisfaction. My, I guess I've just been eating the wrong kind of chocolate.

"Please stop barking and answer your sister."

Why do I feel like I've said something eerily similar at some point in the not-so-distant past?? Why would I even need to say that in the first place? And why do kids bark so much? So many things to ponder on this cold and wet day. I think I'll just sit here a bit longer, sip my tea and contemplate the absurdities of parenthood.

Are these images any bigger/clearer?

Strange things you discover around your house when you have kids

This one I found while I was about to put a drawer back in its place. At first I thought, "Oh, that's funny." Then I looked closer and began to wonder what exactly my daughter was trying to convey...

This little gem I just stumbled upon when I walked into my boys' room to look for something. I almost asked my youngest why his shoe was wedged in between books on the bookshelf when I noticed what was inside. But I took a picture instead.

"How can you not remember hitting someone?"

Does that happen? I'm curious. I suppose if you were caught up in a moment of chaos or distraction, it might be possible to forget striking another person, sure. But if you're a sister who was just playing with her brother a moment earlier, probably not. And that same sister running into your room under the guise of just wanting to say hi makes it even less believable. And the little brother following closely behind angrily calling out his sister's name adds to the dubiousness of this claim. So...after very little contemplation I've come to the conclusion that no, her claim of momentary amnesia is not valid and has now, as a matter of fact, added another element to her punishment. Case closed.