☺"Why did you put cheese in your pocket? [sic]"☺

Let me begin by explaining that I sort of, in a way, kinda, created this quote out of an entry that a dad shared on the Facebook site. Here's what he wrote, so let me know if maybe you think he mighta said something else. Or maybe what you would have said in this situation:

"My kid stuck a piece of burnt cheese in his pocket and when I asked him why he said he might be hungry later and wanted to keep a snack nearby.??? Did we do this??? I can't imagine??! Oh well, keeps you young!"

What would YOU have said??

"Don't stick your fingers in it and make it bigger."

"Ew," my husband said, "did you really have to say it like that?" Now, like many (if not all) of the other comments posted, taken out of context or said to an adult, this may sound a bit peculiar awkward and even gross. And if you use your imagination in creative ways or start putting it in conversations you have had in the past, it may start to become even more bizarre curious and sophomoric. And that's what makes parenting so funny - all the nutty-sounding things that come out of your mouth...not to mention the humdingers that your kids utter on a daily basis! But I was simply referring to the tear in my son's jeans, so it was clearly necessary rational and appropriate.

☺"Better voice projection, mommy."☺

Clearly my son has been paying attention to his teacher while practicing for his 2nd grade speeches! He asked me to read them all a book in the van yesterday, so I halfway turned in my seat and began reading about Arthur and his adventures. Part of the way through Chapter 1, he politely interrupted with these stage directions. It took me a second to process what he had just said but my husband picked it up right away and started giggling. Yes, he giggled. And my husband is not a giggler. I then turned further around, cleared my throat, and began again. My son just smiled and said, "That's better, good job." And then my husband giggled some more.

"I only have one right hand."

It's true, I do. For some reason my 3 year old was set on holding my right hand, even though his older brother 'had it first.' I told him he could hold the other one or his brother's hand or daddy's hand, but no. "I want that one." He left me no choice.

☺"Get the tortilla shell out of your ear."☺

Saying things like this are inevitable, as a parent. Sorry. If you don't have kids or are expecting, then these phrases may seem a bit exaggerated and dramatic but honestly, they are crucial, invaluable, effective, behavior-changing gems that should be said with pride! Okay, maybe that was a bit exaggerated and dramatic, but my point is this: once you have a child, who knows what the heck is gonna come out of your mouth, but whatever it may be, I bet it'll be worth writing down!

The mama who recently shared this jewel tells her story:
"I said this to my 11 month old as we were at Taco Bell the other night and were giving him little pieces of a cheese roll up that my husband was eating. He was busy trying to shove them into his ear and laughing, having a good ole time!"

She had to say it, right??!!

"Don't put the animals in the milk, they don't like that."

Breakfast time. New toy animals. Me, trying to answer the 'why' before it is asked.

"There's a lady under the couch."

This I actually said to my husband yesterday as we were cleaning up around the house. We had both just sat down on opposite couches when I looked down and saw her. As soon as I made this revelation to him, he simply passed his hand under the couch, scooped her up and gave it to our daughter. Not another word was spoken about the lady under the couch.