"No mean hugs."

You know what I'm talking about: the kids have been arguing, mom or dad suggests they be nice to each other instead, you know, just to see if that makes anyone any happier; the kids make that agreement to each other and consent to hug, only mom or dad can tell that they're both still angry and really just want to take this opportunity to 'hug' the fake smile right off brother/sister's face so mom or dad intervenes one more small time, making the above request and monitoring the interaction carefully, even joining in her/himself just to make sure everyone is all lovey and tender and no one gets squished. I mean, wouldn't that defeat the purpose of the hug in the first place?

"Will you help me put daddy back in the bag?"

We're doing a forensic unit at home and this week was dead body week. We were fresh out of cadavers so my husband stepped in. My daughter had just finished the autopsy to determine cause of death when she spotted a clue. We had to hurry and get back to the station so I started cleaning up...You can figure out the rest.

OR:

My in-laws made a puzzle out of a 2nd grade picture of my hubby and gave it to us the last time we saw them. My daughter had put it together earlier and it was now time to clean up. I thought I'd pitch in when I saw how diligently she was working so I grabbed the plastic baggy and started picking up the pieces...You can figure out the rest.


Which one of these stories is true? Use your mad investigative skills to untangle the web I have spun. Careful, things may not be as they appear. Good luck.

"You need to talk, not just roll away."

We all had 'assigned' seats for our daughter's impromptu puppet show, with our own personalized 'tickets,' so when my oldest decided he wanted to 'trade' with my youngest, there was an issue. But instead of handling the situation like an adult, my 4 year old dropped to his knees, grunted, and started rolling away on his back. (makes me wonder now if he's seen this behavior before...hmmm...maybe he was acting like an adult...) Anyway, so I said what I said, he let out another grunt, rolled around some more, then got up and reluctantly asked his brother to move. Was that really so hard? I was actually teaching him a life lesson just then: Don't roll away from confrontation. Grunting is not the answer. Dropping to your knees when upset will not resolve problems. He'll thank me later, I'm sure.

Quote break. Review opportunity.

How fun would it be to get a swing set for me, I mean the kids, this spring?! Not sure if it'll happen but CSN Stores certainly makes it fun to look at swingsets and all kinds of outdoor play items. Or maybe I'll check out their beautiful bedding or some funky lights for the bathroom or even a fancy kitchen appliance. Those folks at CSN Stores have really been generous with their giveaways and now another review! I'm not sure what I'll end up reviewing but I'll certainly have fun looking through all their neat stuff. Since they have over 200 stores, I know I'll be happily busy searching for just the right product to share with you. Stay tuned...

"Laugh tomorrow. Goodnight."

I think it's pretty clear how daddy was feeling at this point. Little man is definitely the biggest goofball in our family and, while he keeps us in stitches most of the time, there comes a moment (usually in the evening) when mommy and daddy are ready for some calm and quiet. So when I heard my little guy cracking (himself) up while my husband was tucking him in, I perked up to hear how my hubby was going to deal with it. Once again, I was surprised and impressed by his calmness and brevity. That's all it took. The laughter ceased and we proceeded to have a relaxing evening watching a movie. But not before we both looked at each other and smiled knowingly about how silly our lives have become.

"I'm done apologizing to your frog."

I know I stepped on it, and I did say I was sorry. Twice. But just because it still couldn't hear me doesn't mean I'm going to keep apologizing. I understand that it fell down the steps the second time so it was distracted but I think the important part is that you heard me and can surely relay my remorse. Is that fair? Are we good? Good.

"I'm not going to fight until you put your pjs on."

Umm...huh? Now that's not something you normally hear at, say, a cage fight. But it sure would catch the opponent off guard and give you some sort of weird advantage, simply because the person might just think you're unstable and therefore unpredictable and worthy of fearing. So, now that I'm thinking more about it, someone needs to go ahead and say this to another adult. Should you find yourself in a situation where a fight might very well occur, I suggest you utter these words to your opponent/assailant/competitor and be ready to reap the benefits of talking crazy. Just try it. I mean, what's the worse that could happen??


Oh, Happy Valentine's Day!!

"Mmm, your butt doesn't need to touch her face."

I realize you're just wrestling around and I know that you're really flexible, but I'm sure there is a way you can manage to 'take your sister downtown' without your bottom being smack-dab on her face. I'm just sayin'.

"Is that your friend's underwear on the table?"

Daughter: Yes
Me: So she just left without her underwear?
Daughter: Yes
Me: But...why?
Daughter: I don't know.
Me: So...
Daughter: Oh, maybe she was wearing mine.
Me: Oh. (naturally.....)

Okay, not a big deal - these girls often switch clothes, dress up, etc. whenever they get together so it's not unusual for random articles of clothing to be left behind. What would be unusual is this:

Hubby: Is that your friend's underwear on the table?
Me: Yes
Hubby: So she just left without her underwear?
Me: Yes
Hubby: But...why?
Me: I don't know.
Hubby: So...
Me: Oh, maybe she was wearing mine.

Now that would cause some concern for all parties involved, huh?

"Let me hold your gun until we get on the bus."

Or: "Don't shoot strangers."

Or: "Shoot only family."

Take your pick. These are all things my bro-in-law said to his daughter one day during our DW trip. Each child got to pick out a little something from one of the shops at the park and my niece chose a cool looking toy gun. Or rifle. Not sure...Anyway, she was having lots of fun with it but daddy just wanted to make sure no one got offended. He's really into gun safety. Her twin sister, on the other hand, was happily playing with her princess purse or doll or necklace (can't remember exactly what she chose) and was quite oblivious to the gun show. Now, these two cuties are very shy and rarely talk to someone until they feel super comfortable with that person, so just picture the little shooter, head down and eyes up, a shy smile on her face, walking around quietly 'shooting' whatever she felt needed shooting. I don't think anyone would have minded being shot by her at all.