Welcome to Mommy (and Daddy) Lingo!

Hi and thanks for visiting this site. As a mother of 3 I've said some pretty odd stuff over these past 10 years and thought it would be fun to write a bunch of them down.

And now, with the encouragement of my brother, I'd like to share some of these unconventional, yet practical, phrases. Enjoy!

Friday, December 31, 2010

"It's okay, you can throw up on me."

Happy New Year!

La la la, taxiing out of the Phoenix airport. Little guy throws up all over himself, the seat, and me.
I clean up all that I can while he remains as pale as he can be.

Flight attendant doesn't think he should fly. Calls to return to gate.
Paramedics called but I'm not sure why. I want to say he's fine, but it's too late.

Back and forth, the discussion goes. Co-pilot comes to see what's going on.
He's nice, he cares, passengers do not. They decide that we must be gone.

So we wait, and wait, while plans are made. A hotel? A new flight? We split up?
No flights back home 'til late that night. Sit for 10 hours while my guy throws up?

We're booked a hotel, we'll stay for the night. We might make it home the next day.
No guarantees, they say, so we play it by ear, while little guy sleeps and throws up. Hope he's okay...

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Happy Holidays!

We're here in Walt Disney World in Florida for the holidays so I think I'll take a little break from posting for a bit. I've already said some odd things (overnight flights and crazy traffic make for some doozies) so I'll keep my list going and share soon. In the meantime, I hope you enjoy any festivities and please share some of the weird things you're saying to your kids (or other people's kids!) so I can help spread the smiles!

Monday, December 20, 2010

"Hey buddy, you've got some rice on your, um...


We're all adults here, right? (at least physically) So although I was hesitant in using that word I figured we could all handle it and no one would be offended. Plus, it's just downright hilarious. This is a classic example of something you never thought you would ever say to anyone, let alone your 3 year old son. Or maybe that's just me. Anyway...here's the reason why my husband said such a very weird thing: Last night our youngest decided he was not going to wear a shirt for the rest of the day. We had just gotten back from a weekend away, he had just taken a bath and asked to wear only pants. We weren't going anywhere so hubby and I said sure, no problem. Fast forward a few hours to dinner. Little guy was happily chowing down on his rice when hubby, who was sitting across from him, noticed some on his chest. I was in my own little world when I hear my husband say our son's name. I zone back in only to see my husband gesturing oddly and looking uncomfortable. When I hear the beginning of the sentence I look across the table and see what is going on. I wait expectantly to hear how he will end his statement. He glances at me as he speaks, his eyes pleading with me to help him out. I don't. He finishes, our son looks down and says, "Oh," as he scoops it up and pops it in his mouth. I look away as I try my best to silently laugh, but my other children see my shoulders moving and what is surely a tear rolling down my cheek and ask what is so funny. I just say, "Oh, daddy makes me laugh," and fake a sip of water. I want to give my hubby a big hug or even shake his hand because I know how awkward that must have been. But I also know he's a kid at heart and just wanted to blurt out, "I just said 'nipple' at the dinner table!"

Congrats to the winner!

One lucky follower just won a $35 gift certificate to use at CSN Stores!

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Winner will be chosen soon...

The giveaway is now closed - thanks to all who entered and good luck! I'll be pulling a name out of a hat this weekend and delivering the happy news tomorrow. It's really fun doing these giveaways and reviews! Well, I've got some playing in the snow to do this weekend so I'm sure I'll have some strange quotes to add soon. I did just tell my youngest that even though he's wearing daddy's coat, I can still see him moving when he should be in time out... Enjoy your day!

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Hurry - chance to enter ends Friday!

There's a $35 CSN Stores gift certificate waiting for someone to claim. Follow to enter. Details - look to the right>>>>>

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

"You sing while I button your pants."

Now this would be a bizarre thing for anyone to say but coming from my hubby made it all the more interesting. You have to understand, on the outside my husband looks pretty serious - he's tall, he teaches math, he works out, he rock climbs, he works on the house and cars, he loves technology, he's quite intelligent and looks at life logically. So sometimes when I hear some of the stuff that comes out of his mouth it makes me pause and, usually, cracks me up. And this time was no different. I wasn't even in the room but I had heard some singing, then silence, then the above statement, then more singing. I don't even know why, after all the years, but I'm still surprised by how matter-of-fact he can be. That guy makes me laugh on a regular basis but I think what I find most hilarious (and endearing) is how he speaks to our children.

Sunday, December 12, 2010

"No, sticking gum up your nose isn't funny."

I realize that I just wrote a post about another 'sticking something up the nose' situation and thought about spacing them further apart but I think that it's because of the previous incident that we had this second one. Follow me? And I think that maybe because I was so nonchalant about the button my youngest figured all bets were off and it was now alright to put anything up there. But I don't really know. All I do know is that he came waltzing into the kitchen the other morning, giggling, and showed me what was up his nose, saying it was so funny. When I tried to set the record straight he just looked at me in all seriousness and said (with the gum still hanging partly out of his nose), ''Yes it is." For a split second I thought about continuing the conversation but thankfully I realized the ridiculousness of doing that and kept my mouth shut. Although I did think to myself "No it's not." Or was that out loud?

Friday, December 10, 2010

"Why is that lady wearing a balloon?"

Um no sweetie, that's just a puffy jacket. But Cocktaildeeva mama was actually thinking the same thing - it just would have sounded rude if it had come out of her mouth. Funny how 3 year olds can get away with that kind of stuff and people think it's kind of cute or funny but if we, as adults, were to say the same thing we'd probably get slapped. Here's what she had to say: "...he's 3..she was wearing a REALLY puffy coat that IS cute on 3 year olds but not on adults...and he just blurted it out. We were at the grocery store. I just love how they see the world. He said exactly what I was thinking." Hmm, a balloon, that seems pretty accurate...

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

"Oh the button was up his nose. It's fine."

Not much of a story here. Pretty straightforward: Oldest sees youngest with the button I was going to sew on his pants - youngest sticks button up nose for a split second and takes it out - oldest asks where button went and where it had been - I answer, get button back, wipe it on my shirt and start to sew it on his pants. Oldest is mildly disgusted but doesn't say anything else. I figure there are bigger things to worry about.

Don't forget to enter the giveaway!

Monday, December 6, 2010

"Legos hurt!"

I proclaimed as I wobbled to my bed last night, to no one in particular and to whomever was around (which was, again, no one). When my husband came to bed a few minutes later I gave him a stern warning, "Watch out for Legos." He jokingly retorted, "Ooh, watch out!" But I noticed that he instantly stopped and looked down at where he was walking. He knows very well what happens when you step on one. As he moved the blanket to get in bed, I spotted one and grabbed it. "See? They're hiding." He chuckled a bit and got in. Once his legs were fully under the covers, we heard it - the jingling of two or more Legos somewhere in our bed. He kicked the blanket in hopes of propelling them off our space, but nothing happened. So then I tried, thinking that maybe they were more toward my side. Again, nothing. We gave up and turned on the TV, thinking that somehow things would resolve themselves. Well, they didn't. As I turned to face the television we heard them again. Taunting us. Hubby reached down under the covers to feel for them. He felt nothing. I kicked at the sheets, trying to gauge where they might be holed up. I narrowed it down, I had figured it out, and I made my move. Those sneaky little scoundrels had found their way between the sheet and the blanket. I felt my way down until I touched one. Aha! I grabbed the two troublemakers and yanked them out. Victory!

(now, the above story may seem a bit melodramatic, and perhaps it is, but after you have stepped on, sat on, or been hit by as many legos as we have, you'd understand that both your patience and respect for their ability to hurt have decreased and increased, respectively, dramatically over the years. i don't think i'll be sad when my kids grow out of them. i'm just sayin').

Thursday, December 2, 2010

I just couldn't wait... Giveaway details!

I promised more details and here they come. But first I just wanted to share a little more about some really stylish tv tables and CSN Stores, in general: First of all, I had never heard of CSN Stores until someone stumbled upon my blog and thought that I(!) might want to do a giveaway or review an item. I was skeptical at first but then once I started becoming more familiar with the sites (over 200 stores, by the way) I realized what a great opportunity this was and so I agreed to a giveaway. (I recently decided I needed a tv table for upstairs and have settled on this one!) It was fun to hear from you and see all the cool stuff you could get. Then it was my turn to pick out a little something and review it. But now it's back to one of you and I'm sincerely excited to be able to offer a $35 gift certificate to any of the 200+ CSN Stores! Many items include free shipping and you can apply this gift toward a larger purchase as well. The deadline is December 17, 2010, just in time for the holidays (hopefully!). I can't wait to hear from you - the same rules apply, so look over them once again and let's get started!

Here's how to enter:

☺Follow me!! Simply leave me a little comment letting me know that you are now a follower of my site (only followers can be entered). You might even comment on one of the great tv tables or just share a funny quote. Just make sure I've got your e-mail address because that's how the lucky winner is contacted.

To get another entry or two:

☺Join my Facebook page - "Don't Lick Your Pizza" - and other things parents never thought they'd say. Leave me a comment letting me know you've joined.☺

☺Follow me on Twitter! Just remember to let me know so I can get your info down.☺

☺Blog about this giveaway and leave me another comment letting me know so I can resubmit your entry. Go ahead and post a link to both mommylingo and tv tables.☺

- Open to all our US and Canadian residents. There might be some shipping or international charges, depending on item purchased -
Deadline is December 17th at midnight EST.

Good luck everybody!!

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Another giveaway!?!

Yessiree! A few months ago I got to host a giveaway where one follower received a gift certificate to CSN Stores. It was really fun being able to offer this opportunity and so I did some research beforehand on their websites just to get an idea of what they offered. What I found was that they offered just about anything you could think of - fancy and everyday cookware, adorable kid items, decorative and practical tv tables - you name it! Everything looked great and a winner was chosen. And then I got to review an item and this is where I really got to experience just how vast the CSN Store network truly is! I scanned site after site and put at least 15 items into my cart within the first 15 minutes. Anyway, I settled on 2 and have been wanting more ever since.

But now it's time to share the fun once again! So stay tuned for details...