Welcome to Mommy (and Daddy) Lingo!

Hi and thanks for visiting this site. As a mother of 3 I've said some pretty odd stuff over these past 10 years and thought it would be fun to write a bunch of them down.

And now, with the encouragement of my brother, I'd like to share some of these unconventional, yet practical, phrases. Enjoy!

Sunday, September 23, 2012

"How can you not remember hitting someone?"

Does that happen? I'm curious. I suppose if you were caught up in a moment of chaos or distraction, it might be possible to forget striking another person, sure. But if you're a sister who was just playing with her brother a moment earlier, probably not. And that same sister running into your room under the guise of just wanting to say hi makes it even less believable. And the little brother following closely behind angrily calling out his sister's name adds to the dubiousness of this claim. So...after very little contemplation I've come to the conclusion that no, her claim of momentary amnesia is not valid and has now, as a matter of fact, added another element to her punishment. Case closed.

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

"So you lock your kids' up during the day?" "Yep."

Now read that again without the apostrophe. Sounds exactly the same, right? So to someone who might have been standing nearby, inadvertently listening to our conversation, this interchange might come across as a bit, mmm, odd. But in the written form it suggests that there might be something else to it, all because of that cute little punctuation mark. I don't mean to sound nerdy here, but I think we need to take a moment to appreciate the power of punctuation. We've all heard of the somewhat-dramatic-yet-powerfully-accurate slogan, "Punctuation Saves Lives," haven't we? You know the one: "Let's eat grandma. Let's eat, grandma." I mean really, without those little marks we'd be constantly backtracking and explaining just what the heck we meant. But instead, thanks to them, we can freely write down our thoughts without a worry in the world that we might be misunderstood. (clearly I don't mean that at all since I'm constantly explaining myself in this blog). But anyway, you get the point. The gesture. The intention. So there we were, my friend and I, waiting for our kinders to come out after their first day of school today, just chatting about stuff, when we casually had this exchange. We were innocently talking about biking to school...buying another lock since three bikes on one lock was a bit of a stretch...etc. She actually pointed out the humor in it, since I, apparently, have become almost oblivious to the strangeness of parental interactions these days. So perhaps I owe her a thanks as well. Thank you, friend, for appreciating the power of punctuation and pointing out the preposterousness of our parlance.

Friday, September 7, 2012

"It's not a good day for eyeballs, huh?"

You could just hear the kindness in her tone, the empathy with which she uttered these words to her teary-eyed daughter, the patience in how she shared examples of recent poke-age. I'm sure my friend never planned on ever feeling the need to give a shout out to eyeballs, giving them a moment of silence, or even working them sympathetically into a conversation. But, alas, here she was, most seriously referring to them as if they had feelings and needed some well-deserved recognition. Her little girl just nodded at her words and intermittently added to the memories of when my own son got gored with a sword and when her sister poked herself in the eye while trying to move some hair out of her face. It seemed as though once she realized she was not alone in having to temporarily walk around with one eye shut, she calmed down a bit, took a deep breath, and went back outside to play, immediately seeming to forget there ever was a mishap as she gleefully hurdled herself back onto the trampoline.