"Oh don't rub your hair on the wall."

Actually, I think I can expand this to include, well, everything. Honestly, I can't think of a single thing that needs to be rubbed on a wall. Nothing. Maybe there's something out there that might benefit from a good rub on a wall but I've gone through a long list and not one of them qualifies. However, I might be persuaded to narrow the field a bit and state that no body part should be rubbed on a wall. But if there were some object that you felt should, for some reason, make this sort of contact, then I suppose it might be alright if this rubbing occurred. Who am I to judge, right? (weirdo)

"If you stopped playing with yourself maybe you could catch the ball."

True, I bet that would work nicely. You could just hear the frustration in my neighbor's voice as he said these words to his son. As a coach, he has to deal with a lot of strange behaviors from students and he's been doing it for so long that he's probably seen more than his fair share of weirdness. But there's something about your own child doing something that you'd probably let pass with someone else that just gets under your skin and you can't help but want them so badly to stop. So I totally understand where this statement came from. Nevermind the fact that it was our neighborhood kids playing basketball and his son is 6. I guess that just makes it funnier.