"Listen, we do NOT throw eggs at the wall, okay?"

In fact, we don't throw eggs anywhere. When my youngest was younger, he had the unfortunate habit of throwing things when he got flustered. I don't really know why this was his chosen method of expression but I'm sure glad it didn't last too long. On this particular day, I was about to make cookies or something and had put the eggs on the counter while I got out the remaining ingredients. Within the 2 seconds it took me to shut the fridge, the little guy had managed to somehow get from the living room to the kitchen, grab an egg off the counter (which he could barely reach on his tiptoes), and be standing behind me smiling and holding an egg precariously in his little hand. At first I wasn't even worried; I was actually impressed by this amazing feat. But then my daughter sees him (and she knows very well what he was capable of) and yells out, "Oh no, he has an egg!" I try and keep my voice calm and my movements slow while I smile and sweetly call out his name. But by then it was too late. My daughter's initial cry immediately put my son on high alert and he stood there frozen for a second, his eyes wide and darting from side to side. I could tell that we had only milliseconds to act but I also knew we had to tread carefully, so I took a small step forward with a hand outstretched and my head tilted in an I'm-not-trying-to-alarm-you-but-I-really-want-what's-in-your-hand kind of way. But, unfortunately, that was all it took to send him running, egg in hand, towards the toy room. My daughter and I tried to intercept him but he was just too swift. As he stopped in front of the futon and faced the wall, I feebly called out, "No, no, don't throw the egg at...the...wall. Aah." Too late. I looked over just in time to see the egg hit low on the wall and slowly ooze down onto the cushion, behind the futon and into the carpet. It's amazing how quickly a 2 year old can move. As I cleaned up the gooeyness I had a heart-to-heart with the little guy about eggs and about how they are much better cooked than thrown. I'd like to believe he understood every word because he hasn't thrown an egg since.