"Don't lick your pizza" (how this all started...)

So my husband and I had gotten pizza for dinner one night a few years back and our son (2 at the time) was enjoying his slice, but was also playing around a bit. We would take turns 'reminding' him how to eat, wipe his mouth, etc... you know, the basics, when I looked over at one point and blurted out, rather frustrated, "Don't lick your pizza!" Now, what was peculiar wasn't so much what I had just said, but how my husband didn't bat an eye. We just kept right on eating as if what just came out of my mouth was a phrase that one would say to, perhaps, a co-worker or a friend in everyday conversation. A few months later I was relating this story to my brother who then suggested I keep a running log of other 'strange-yet-utterly-relevant-at-the-time' things I say to my children that, taken out of context, would sound perfectly ludicrous. So here I am, list in hand (augmented by other equally sensible moms), ready to share all the absurd yet befitting things we say!